Lodestar

The literal, albeit archaic, meaning of "lodestar" is a star that leads or guides; especially, the North Star.

Guide me like a lode star Lord, to the man you have ordained for me. Set my heart’s desires that they should align with yours, that I may see in your son that which you see in him.

Ladies, does physical attraction matter? In my role as a life coach to women seeking to walk in purpose and unlock their destinies, I have come across many an interesting tale. Any and everything you could possibly think of under the sun, as women seek to discover who they are and prepare themselves in a Godly way so they can confidently step into their Kingdom marriages.

I often ask the ladies whether they are praying for their future homes and if so, what those prayers look like. The one thing that strikes me across the board is this universal, irrational fear that if they should somehow let go and let God, they would not be attracted to the man God has ordained for them. Even the most devout, born again women will make comments like “I want to have a say in the matter. God has give humans free will and choice, I want to be able to have input in the decision.” This is all well and good however personally, I am in a place of total and complete surrender. The reason for this is that in the past, I ran around trying it by my own might and power and getting nowhere in a hurry. I dated my so-called list - tall dark and handsome, “God-fearing”, intelligent etc etc, you know the spiel - and walked out of that particular relationship like a chicken caught in a hailstorm, shaking and shivering from head to toe. Needless to say, I am now a strong advocate for tearing that list!

Now, I’m not making light of the question of physical attraction. After all, you will be waking up beside this man every morning so you better find him attractive! There is also the not-so-small matter of our future cute wailing babies, so it is nothing to sniff at, at all. Naturally, we ought to be proud of the men walking by our side; proud to introduce them to friends and family, not dodging people like those aunties who married shifty men in a hurry to become ‘Mrs’ and are now thoroughly embarrassed by their decision! In as much as all this is true, we must come to the understanding that God wants us to prosper in fruitful Kingdom marriages. It is His desire that we should delight in the good gifts which He gives to us - including His precious sons! A young woman Cathy once gave me a great big belly laugh. Addressing the question of physical attraction, she looked up to the heavens and exclaimed , “God, please send me your son Oh! I know you are very handsome because you are God so your son must also be handsome!”

Physical attraction matters, I agree. However the truth of the matter is that God can turn the heart of a King; Proverbs 21:1 tells us that the heart of the King is like water-streams in His hands. That means He can also turn the heart of the Queen! So even where you may not at first be physically attracted to a man, if God speaks to you clearly and confirms that this is the one He has for you, pray for Him to turn your heart so that you will be attracted to him and see the man as God sees him. Sisters, please take this prayer point seriously lest you miss out on the abundant blessings heaven has released for you. I have heard many a tale of a supernatural veil being lifted off a woman’s eyes the moment she surrendered and let God take control. The devil is a bastard and for some women, you may be running around in crazy circles yet the man is right in front of you! Because your eyes are blind , you cannot see! Because a dark shroud is covering your vision, you see men as trees. Pray and ask God to pierce any demonic covering and peel the scales off your eyes so that you may clearly identify your God ordained spouse when the time comes. To be very honest, I must interject here that sometimes God Himself will keep your eyes closed until He has worked on you and you are ready. Think about it, why would He ever give you one of His precious sons when you still do not value the calibre of a man you are getting? Pray that God will open your eyes when the time is right so that you may see clearly.

I have another little newsflash. Many a woman has married a man for his looks only to wake up years later wondering what she ever saw in him in the first place! Abeg, will you eat that man’s looks? Character defines beauty, not a chiselled jawbone. Looks change and looks also fade. A handsome person with an ugly character can morph into an ugly little thing overnight. If we could only see ourselves as God sees us in the realm of the spirit! One day, giving a prophetic word to a lady, God showed me a stunning woman in the spirit. Like, drop dead gorgeous. As I opened my eyes and began to speak, I finally focused on the woman in front of me. I was stunned! In all honesty, she looked pretty normal in the physical but what the Holy Spirit had shown me was a radiant beauty. God emphasised that her inner beauty is what made her glow, she was the true epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman.

In 1 Samuel 16 :7, the Lord said to Samuel (of Saul), “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” As you wait to receive the man God has for you, pray fervently that your heart’s desires will align with those of our Father.

So on the matter of this irrational fear that we would somehow not be attracted to the men God has for us, today we cancel such negative thoughts from the pit of hell in Jesus name. Being the prayer warriors that we are, we seal our desires with a fervent prayer on top of these men’s heads. Nobody will say we didn’t address this matter in prayer oh! Let us pray.

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Father in heaven,

El Roi - the God who sees me,

I come before you today with all humility as your beautiful, faithful daughter of Zion. As I approach the throne of grace, I ask Father that you hear my petition. It may sound funny to your ears Lord, but just for good measure today I decree and declare that I will be attracted to the man you have ordained for me. I will be attracted to him in all ways - physical, mental and emotional. May he be like a lodestar unto me, a star that leads and guides my heart and spirit to him.

Father your word says in Jeremiah 29: 11 that you know the plans you have for me. Plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. Psalm 40 : 5 says that your plans for me are too numerous to list! I decree and declare that I will be in alignment with the good plans you have for me. I will not act as an obstacle to the good and perfect design you have for my life. I will not take my own hand and destroy that which you have planned for me. I will not carry my own legs and run from that which you have blessed me with. I will not use my own tongue to speak against your generous gifts to me. I will not use my own human mind to reason out divine matters. Rather I will submit myself fully to you God, and be led by the Holy Spirit in this and every area of my life.

Father you are a God that looks not at the physical but at that which is in the heart. I stand on this word and I ask that even as I am transformed into Christlikeness day by day, that I too will learn to look not at the outward appearance, but at that which is in a man’s heart. May I be attracted to my future husband’s inner beauty, so much so that it spills over to the physical. May his smile forever captivate me, may the squint of his eyes fill me with joy even as I behold your beautiful creation.

Father I ask also that I too will be incredibly attractive to my future husband. I ask that he will be forever drawn to my inner beauty, the Proverbs 31 woman that I am becoming. I pray that as my deep need calls out to the deep kindness of your love, so shall his spirit call out to mine. I pray that we will be of one mind and accord, that even as we grow old together we will become even more attracted to each other. I pray that in the passage of time, I will become even more beautiful in his eyes and that he will thank you always that I am the woman you ordained for him. I pray that as your instructions are written on my heart, that they too shall be etched in his for the rest of our days.

I pray all this believing and trusting in the mighty name of Jesus,

Amen.